Me: Sorry Roy, we didn’t have our chat. I totally forgot you Roy: *wags tail, tilts head* universal dog language for “what the hell are you talking about? Bed made, no shower. Didn’t read, didn’t listen to music All I did all day and night was work on a report for work. 5 Gratefuls: God. Mom has covid but she’s in God’s hands and he will protect her my bed me not doing anything stupid *gives Joe the evil eyeRead More
Mom: I need you to get me my face cream Me: That stuff is $30. I’m not getting it. I can get you Loreal instead of Oil of Oley for $17. Same stuff half the price Mom: Beth Ann, it’s my money! Me: Mom, you have a total of $1,900 to your name. You’re in a situation that does not allow you to have money. Do you know how fast your little bit will go with stuff like $30 facecream?Read More
Me: … showered made bed 5 Gratefuls: God. I’m a heathen but I’m not forgotten I have a job there’s $50 extra bucks in my checking account. Not sure how that happened. I don’t have to cook tonight my nice warm bed didn’t listen to music today. Maybe that’s why I’m bitchy I didn’t read anything other than paperwork for work. My head hurts
Me: That all you got? Snowstorm: … Me: Ha! That’s what I thought. They say your Snomageddon. Wal-Mark was scarier than you. Place was like the zombie apocalypses Bed made but not till after noon. Blame the job, I ran out of here in my slippers. No heat in an 18 unit building will get your ass movin shower – gonna take a long hot bath tonight 5 Gratefuls: God. He got me home before the snow hit and HeRead More
Roy: *angry stare* Me: What? Roy *angry stare* Me: you need to go out? I shoveled you a grassy spot Roy: *angry stare* Me: Look dude, I know you hate snow but you don’t use a little box so your SOL Roy: *angry stare* Me: biscuit? Roy: *happy dance* Gratefuls: God. He answered prayers today. Like everyday chili for dinner. I love my chili. I’m a damn good simple cook Mom. She didn’t resist the “I told you so” butRead More
Me: -4? Really? Weather: *snickers* Just wait. This ain’t Florida kid Me: 243 days till Sunshine, beaches, and 70’s in January. Weather: Maybe, but I have a hurricane, a food and rain EVERY night at 5pm. Just when you’re driving home. Me: Fuck you 5 Gratefuls: God. He get’s me even though I don’t get myself sunshine. It’s cold as fuck but at least the sun is shining hot coffee Roy eating. When he don’t eat I get scared. AfterRead More
Boss: Hey, I just wanted to say I don’t say enough, how much I appreciate the work you do. I really truly appreciate everything you do and the care you take in everything you do. Thank you! Me: *speechless* So, what started out as a simple “make your bead and shower” list to get myself motivate and out of my funk turned it to something that has gotten out of hand and is beginning to turn into just another choreRead More
Me: Hello…you out there? Also Me: Shower: check bed made: check BUT… the daily goal is to make my bed the right way. I didn’t. I made it the lazy way. Fuck it. It’s not like mom is checking *looks over shoulders* I could blame it on the guilty looking dog at the end of my bed 5 Grateful God. I’m going to keep saying it till I feel it. I know it but knowing it isn’t feeling it theRead More
Mom: 2 more dead Me: keep away from everyone. Stay in your room and don’t let anyone in that’s not in a hazmat suit. This includes your crazy ass roommate. I’m just starting to like you again, you CANNOT die on me! Mom: starting to like me again? When didn’t you like me? Me: I stopped liking you when I was about 12 and didn’t start to tolerate you till my early 30s. I mean, we lived 1,000 apart forRead More
Me: Today sucked. Go away Roy: *blank stare* Me: you’re a dog. What do you know? Roy: *blank stare* Me: Shudup you. I don’t want to hear it. Wanna go outside? Roy: *tail wags* ____________________________________ Shower: no, bath bed made: check 5 Grateful God. I know he’s out there. I can hear Him but I’m ignoring Him for some reason. Who am I kidding. I know the reason. I’m freakin lazy. Being a Christian takes effort but He hasn’t givenRead More